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August 14, 2012

I believe that in the last six years, I have spent more time praying for strength, hope, patience, answers, and help, than I have in my whole life.  These past years have been scary and joyful at the same time.  But the scary part is a result of self doubt and fear of the unknown.  The self doubt was magnified by the fact that I had no one to really turn to, who could offer advice on these feelings and how they related to the various faces and phases of Alzheimer’s disease and its effects.  Yes, there are Alzheimer support groups, and I attended many of them, but while they were greatly beneficial, I usually felt unfulfilled.  I’m not sure why, since everyone I have met in connection with Alzheimer’s, have ALL been kind, compassionate, knowing, caring and sharing.  But yet, I still had an “empty” feeling.

I spent countless hours doing internet research, looking for answers, but mostly came up with technical and medical information.  While beneficial, it still was not what I was looking for.

During one sleepless night about a year ago, I prayed that God would help me find people who understood my dilemma.  I turned on the computer and up popped, “The Alzheimer’s Reading Room,” by Bob DeMarco. I read for hours and hours and hours, I had found someone who knew how I felt and what I was going through!  I didn’t need to ask for anything, nor schedule an appointment. I knew this was Divine Intervention at work!

Bob DeMarco’s stories of the life he shared with his mother, Dotty, were exactly what I needed, and quite often exactly “when” I needed them. More Divine Intervention at work! Bob DeMarco had the God given strength, to not only care for his mother at home full time, but to share their good days, and their trials with the rest of the world.  He and Dotty taught me how to look for the joy in the darkest of times.  They validated my feelings and fears; they were able to put into words my sense of loneliness. Together they taught me to understand the unknown world of Alzheimer’s. Dotty’s words were as informative as Bob’s were.  They made a great educational team!

Dotty passed away in May of 2012.

From Heaven, through Bob, Dotty has said that we need to concentrate on our good memories, look for the joy and quit looking at our loved one as a patient and a burden.  Our good memories will carry us through.

Bob and Dotty have kept me company on many lonely nights, and they have inspired me to share my story with others as well.  While Bob’s “Alzheimer’s Reading Room” is the ultimate blog for caregivers, I hope that in my own way, I can offer a bit of help, hope and understanding to others too.

During those sleepless nights, one never knows what path that Divine Intervention will take us.  If you are reading my “Alzheimer Roller Coaster,” I thank you, and may I also suggest that you visit Bob’s, “Alzheimer’s Reading Room.

You’ll be glad that you did!


  1. You are already speaking to many. You helped me put into words a passage in my own life not too long ago: searching and coming up unfulfilled. I think I find that path often in my life. Reading your words makes me more comfortable with the path. I know from my own experience that I can count on Divine Intervention. Thanks for the reminder.

    • Carolyn Mers permalink

      CurissAnn, As I said when we spoke recently, Divine Inervention certainly played a role in our getting together again after all of these years. I know I would never have had the courage to do this without you! And, I find it quite humbling that I am able to help you in some way……and not just be a pest with a lot of questions!! (LOL) We may not know what our true missions are to be in all of this, but together and with God’s help we will find the way! Bless You, Dear Friend! Carolyn

  2. Kay permalink

    I am glad you have gotten started sharing your walk along this path with your Mother. I know that some of the days have been like strolling along a path on a pretty summer day, but along that stroll there are some cloudy moments. Even as the walk continues the clouds may become quite stormy, but as you said Jesus takes your hand and leads through each step that you take beside your Mother. I am looking forward to your sharing this with us.

    • Carolyn Mers permalink

      Thank you for all of your encouragement and emotional support through this. I know you have your own cross to bear, and yet you are always there for me. Maybe some of my stories will help you get through some of your tough days too. Love You!

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