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STARTING A NEW CHAPTER IN MY LIFE

July 21, 2014

This morning while waiting for my coffee to brew, I studied my calendar for the week.  It looked very strange. I am used to seeing numerous things scheduled for almost every day of the week, but now, only one entry for the entire week.  Meeting a friend on Tuesday morning for coffee.  Nothing else….no meetings…..no commitments….no appointments….no phone calls that must be made…..I  suddenly felt very un-needed.

It has been three weeks since mom passed on to a better life. In the basement are her boxes of personal items waiting to be unpacked, but I am not ready to do that yet.

Looking around the house, there is an endless number of things to do, but not today.

I headed outside in the early morning hours before the sun got too hot.  Four hours of weeding, watering, and spreading eight bags of pea gravel (add that to the twelve bags that I spread about a month ago, means that there is only about forty bags left to move from the pallet to my new gravel walkway!)  Doing all this outdoor work gave me plenty of time for contemplating where I’ve been and what I should do next.

Over the past eleven years I have made many half-hearted attempts of building flowerbeds and creating curb appeal to our large hilly, but stark, yard.  My property is scattered with many incomplete projects because I either lost interest, got sidetracked and never got back to the job at hand, or became overwhelmed with an idea that became a much bigger project than I had envisioned.

What became clear to me today was that I could not fix this eleven year mess of a yard in one day, any more than I can fix me in a day, or a week, or a month.  I have neglected me, just as much as I have neglected the yard. We are both going to need time, patience and a whole lot of work in order clear the clutter from our paths.

Yesterday’s sermon at church became a reality as I separated the weeds from the wheat, (no I do not really have wheat!) I discovered a small hydrangea blooming on a plant that has not bloomed in the five years it has been in that spot. Then, while picking cucumbers for tonight’s supper, the words to a hymn rang in my head… “God will provide for all that we need.”

 

I really must learn to be still and let God. 

 

         

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